Things People Say To Women Promoted To The Top

[caption id="attachment_836488" align="alignleft" width="1068"] Bigstockphoto.com/woman looks as she is working on the computer.[/caption] When a man gets promoted to the top, people talk about his merits, his experience, and his skill set. Maybe they talk about some secret negotiations he made to get there, but even still, negotiations require experience and skillset. Unfortunately, as far as we may think we’ve come as a society when a woman is promoted to the top, it’s still a thing. The mere fact that she is a woman must be discussed. People talk about how her female qualities will affect her work, benefit or harm her position and influence her behavior. When a man becomes powerful, nobody talks about how his male qualities will influence his work. They just talk about how his human qualities will affect his work. The way powerful women are discussed is a shame, annoying, and can be damaging. If you’re a woman promoted to the top, get ready for comments like these.   [caption id="attachment_613511" align="alignleft" width="494"] Shutterstock[/caption]

They’re trying to appeal to feminists

God forbid you were given the position because you and only you were right for it. Oh no. This must have been some manipulative move on the company’s part to appeal to feminist customers, clients, investors or potential partners. You’re just a playing piece in their game of chess, and right now, they needed a Queen.         [caption id="attachment_702075" align="alignleft" width="420"] Image Source: Shutterstock[/caption]

Somebody at the top must like you

Merit, skill, intelligence and hard work alone could not have gotten you there, right? Sure, people can acknowledge you have those attributes, but they just can’t believe you got to the top on those alone. There must have been a little something extra. There must have been someone at the top who had a crush on you.           [caption id="attachment_701243" align="alignleft" width="456"] Shutterstock[/caption]

You’re becoming too successful for me/us/your partner

When a woman is successful, it can be seen as a threat to her personal relationships. People might joke that she will overshadow her partner, or be intimidating to potential mates. Friends may tease that she’s becoming too successful for them. When a man gets promoted, his friends don’t suggest that he’s no longer a suitable friend or partner.         [caption id="attachment_619447" align="alignleft" width="500"] Image Source: Shutterstock[/caption]

How will that affect your family life?

I’d love to see the day when a powerful man was giving an important speech and someone interrupted him to ask, “Who is taking care of your kids right now?” That just doesn’t happen. But of course the moment a woman is given more power and responsibility, rather than celebrating the positive of that, people immediately think about the way it will negatively impact her role as a mother.   [caption id="attachment_616073" align="alignleft" width="420"] Shutterstock[/caption]

So you don’t want kids then?

If a powerful woman doesn’t have children and she is promoted to a higher position, people will often assume that the fact she accepted the position means she has decided not to have children. Because a woman cannot possibly be a powerful career woman and a mother, right? Funny enough, if a man is wealthy and successful, people will talk about how that makes him a great provider for a family.           [caption id="attachment_702372" align="alignleft" width="420"] Image Source: Shutterstock[/caption]

It’s because you can hang with the guys

Some colleagues, in a misguided attempt to compliment you, may say that you made it to the top because you can “Hang with the guys” or “Take a joke.” They are essentially saying that you have stood by and tolerated inappropriate behavior, and perhaps even a little sexual harassment.             [caption id="attachment_711254" align="alignleft" width="420"] Image Source: Shutterstock[/caption]

I just hope you’re not sensitive

Some men may worry that you won’t be able to “take a joke” or “hang with the guys.” Some men may feel that their boys’ club is being threatened, and be angry at the fact that now they may have to watch what they say in meetings. Rather than think about how your new position may benefit the company, they only think about how it will affect their ability to misbehave.           [caption id="attachment_622021" align="alignleft" width="500"] Image Source: Shutterstock[/caption]

You got here because you’re not sensitive, like other women

In other words, you’re cold-hearted, you’re a stone—you don’t have emotions. This can be infuriating as a woman because these people who say this do not realize that you are sensitive, you are proud to be sensitive, and your sensitivity actually helped you navigate your way to this position. When people say this, they’re assuming that you, like them, see sensitivity as a weakness. But you do not. [caption id="attachment_616118" align="alignleft" width="414"] Shutterstock[/caption]

The company wanted to try a woman for a change

So that’s why you got the position, huh? The company was just going for novelty, and you were the first woman standing around. How flattering.             [caption id="attachment_704658" align="alignleft" width="420"] Shutterstock[/caption]

Doesn’t hurt to have an attractive boss

Some men will outwardly admit that they will, starting today, pay a little more attention in meetings because you’re running them, and you’re nice to look at. It’s not because you’re intelligent or have good ideas—those are just an added benefit.           [caption id="attachment_702367" align="alignleft" width="420"] Image Source: Shutterstock[/caption]

Doesn’t hurt to have an attractive face of the company

Some people may suggest that the reason you were given a prominent, high profile position in the company is so that you will be the one whose face is on the billboards and who does interviews with the media. And you’re attractive, so people will pay attention and want to work with you.           [caption id="attachment_709985" align="alignleft" width="378"] Image: Shutterstock[/caption]

It’ll be nice to have a more accessible boss

Your employees may assume (and say as much) that now that a woman is in charge, they can behave a little less professionally and bring their personal life to work. Maybe you’ll let them go home early more because they’re feeling depressed. You do hope to rule with a fair and measured hand, but you don’t like the assumption that you’ll be soft.           [caption id="attachment_720938" align="alignleft" width="414"] Shutterstock[/caption]

A CEO—that’s hot

Then there will be the men who you meet online, at bars or on blind dates who take this enormous accomplishment of yours and shrink it down to a fetish. They don’t want or need to know about the inner workings of your career. They just want to know that you wear a pencil skirt and yell at people because apparently, that’s hot.           [caption id="attachment_712971" align="alignleft" width="413"] Shutterstock[/caption]

Ah. Beautiful and smart

Expect this type of comment from older generations who are still wrapping their heads around the fact that women have thoughts of their own, and that women aspire to be more than just physically attractive to the opposite sex. Some men will still be surprised that you cultivated your mind when you (apparently) could’ve gotten by on your looks alone.           [caption id="attachment_609049" align="alignleft" width="415"] Shutterstock[/caption]

Who did you flirt/sleep with?

It’s a cliché, worn out, tired and deeply offensive question, but it is still asked. It’s nearly impossible, as a woman, to be promoted to the top and avoid this question.

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